OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
