He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
