we have officially lost it.
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
