How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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