thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Randomize
