Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
