Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
