so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
