Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Randomize
