Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
