If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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