hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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