Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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