I'm passing your future prison.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Randomize
