dude i'm inner monologue high
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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