I hate your face
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
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