If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Your penis caused this!
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
