Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Quick, to the slutcave!
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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