Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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