i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
