i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
