Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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