yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
