It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
