You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
