I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
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