he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Randomize
