i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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