But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
