I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
