I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Fuck me I smell like cheese
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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