SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
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