can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
