What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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