we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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