She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
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