No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
