I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
