Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
