its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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