I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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