New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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