a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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