Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
the day after is always just damage control
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
