some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize
