You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
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