covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
