She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
