Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize
