yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
