Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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