Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
